topiyan

खाकी टोपी गाँधी टोपी की तरफ देख कर बोली ," अरी, जानती है ! लोकपाल आने वाला है | तेरा भी कटेगा मेरा भी कटेगा | " "क्यूँ री ? क्यूँ कटेगा ? आज तक इतने कानून आये और गए , हमारा आज तक कुछ बिगड़ा | वो सुना नहीं 'युनानो मिस्र रोमा ... सब मिट गए जहाँ से , अब तक है बाकी नमो निशा हमारा कुछ बात है की हस्ती मिटटी नहीं हमारी ' , ये इस देश क बारे में नहीं लिखा, असल में हमारे लिए लिखा है | " गाँधी टोपी तुनक कर बोली |

" अरे नहीं री , सुना है लोग सड़कों पे आ गए हैं," " अरे क्या बात करती है तू भी | अब जब रहने को छत ही नहीं है, तो सड़कों पे तो आयेंगे ही, हमे क्या हम कौन सा सड़कों पे रहते हैं | और जब निकलते हैं तब क लिए सिक्युरिटी है न | और तुझे तो सेकुरिटी की भी जरुरत नहीं , क्यूँ ? तू तो खुद ही सिक्यूरिटी है | हा हा हा "

खाकी टोपी शर्मा कर बोली " बहुत कांफिडेंट है तू तो | " " कहे न रहूँ? इस देश की पूरी हिस्टरी देख ले | सब साले चोर हैं , बस हम बड़े चोर हैं | कानून आने से का होगा , कानून तो ये भी है रोड पर मूतना नहीं है | कौनो फोल्लो करता है का? मुन्नी ये जुगाड़ का देश है , यहाँ हर चीज का जुगाड़ है , हर चीज की कीमत है | तेरे नीचे जो विलायती दारू की बोतल रखी है वो तेरी कीमत, मेरे अन्दर जो एक पेटी का चेक वो मेरी कीमत "

"और हमरा , हमरा की कीमत है मालकिन " जमीं पे पड़ा माली का गमछा चिल्लाया | " साले चुप क हमारी बातें सुन रहा है |" खाकी टोपी चीखी " दो सोंटा लगायेंगे तो होश ठिकाने आ जायेगा | बड़ा लोग क बात में टोकता है | तोहरी बहिन की ..." "रहने दे रे ! और तू साले भाग यहाँ से .."

"क्या री ? जाने दिया उसको "

" बस यही तो अंतर है हममे , इसलिए तू खाकी है और मैं खादी | ये साला गमछा जब तक मिटटी में पड़ा रहे, तब तक सही है | जिस दिन

ये मादर फंदा बन गया उस दिन तू क्या , मैं क्या और ये क्या सब मिटटी हैं | "

खाकी मुस्कुरा कर बोली " क्यूँ रे ! कानून से डर नहीं लगता , गमछे से लगता है ?"

गाँधी टोपी उसकी ओर देखी और बोली " मुन्नी ! मैं भी कभी गमछा ही थी |"

The last April...

There are a lot of things you can run out of in an engineering school... patience, interest, passion, strength, intellect, sanity. But as the end draws, you find that you have run out of nothing but time. You thought you will do something great, meet someone important, tell someone a secret, love somebody special, kick someone’s ass, but it all ends with a hassle caused by a combination of BTP/MTPs, GVs, endsems and stupid farewells streaked with mawkish speeches and hapless dinners. It’s a strange feeling, some kind of paradox, I want the days to slip and the moments to stay, but the days seem long and the moments just fall like the sand in an hourglass.

Farewells are sad!

And just when I was about to realize the plans of doing a bonfire conceived in the cold of January, the blooming mauve flowers in the yellow sun made a April fool out of me. And I realized “while I sit and talk to god, he just laughs at my plans”

. It was there, the last April, something coveted yet detested. The counting flag for measuring our stay at this place, the turning point of each year, the time of the year when one repetitively looked forward to next session and thought, “this time I won’t makhao again”, “this time I will lose weight”, “this time I will attend all classes”, “this time I will stop walking awkwardly” and of course these resolutions were never realized, hence repetitive. That was till now.

It’s over folks. I am walking out with the same “extraordinary” gait, holding that extra bit of fat accumulated over the last few years, still sleeping on the “sunken mass of wool” which was rendered replaceable by my father 3 years ago, holding tight to a unclaimed mechanics book left at my room in 2^nd year by someone who I now believe was too ashamed to own it.

the abandoned Mechanics book

sunken mass of wool

So all you guys out there, waiting for your turns, know that the life at KGP is like this puff of smoke, it intrigues, makes you believe that it will stay and then slowly diffuses as time unfolds and even before you know it's gone, not even a streak left behind

In the flip of a coin ...

PS: it was supposed to be my birthday blogpost

I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road. ... (Stephen Hawking)

There is a well known concept in physics called the uncertainty principle, it prohibits us know and predict the future perfectly. At a first look it appears to be a depressing limitation for many people but on a closer look isn’t it great that nothing is predetermined? Isn’t that what makes our life so interesting and worth living for. Predictability is good but spontaneity is what you call “Fcuking awesome”.

I have turned 22, I have been smart and I have been foolish, I have loved and I don’t know whether I was loved back , and I am graduating this summer given I don’t fail any courses (yes you can call me a cynic, I don’t give a damn). I have been finicky about many things over the last 5 years but now that I am so close to leaving this place, I am starting to think that it couldn’t have been more fun, I mean , how many physics grads get to shoot a gun and watch scenes from The Devil’s Advocate on a big screen as a part of their curriculum.

Like many of my friends I didn’t have a plan when I came here and likewise I developed a few as time passed . Unlike most of my friends however, I never felt confident about those plans, something which had it pros and cons. I have made some choices which may have appalled a few but one day they will come to understand that the seeds of those had been there from the start, it was an avalanche in waiting, all it needed was a little push. All I can say is that nothing is random , what we call random behavior has it roots in some unfathomable facts.I was taught a course called Non Linear Dynamics and somehow it makes more sense these days than it did before.

When I was little I watched a TV show called Recess, there was a group kids and they had a character called Spinelli, and in one episode they show her uncertainty about her future... I think it’s better you watch the episode( it’s a 10 min clip)