There are a lot of things you can run out of in an engineering school... patience, interest, passion, strength, intellect, sanity. But as the end draws, you find that you have run out of nothing but time. You thought you will do something great, meet someone important, tell someone a secret, love somebody special, kick someone’s ass, but it all ends with a hassle caused by a combination of BTP/MTPs, GVs, endsems and stupid farewells streaked with mawkish speeches and hapless dinners. It’s a strange feeling, some kind of paradox, I want the days to slip and the moments to stay, but the days seem long and the moments just fall like the sand in an hourglass.
Farewells are sad!
And just when I was about to realize the plans of doing a bonfire conceived in the cold of January, the blooming mauve flowers in the yellow sun made a April fool out of me. And I realized “while I sit and talk to god, he just laughs at my plans”
. It was there, the last April, something coveted yet detested. The counting flag for measuring our stay at this place, the turning point of each year, the time of the year when one repetitively looked forward to next session and thought, “this time I won’t makhao again”, “this time I will lose weight”, “this time I will attend all classes”, “this time I will stop walking awkwardly” and of course these resolutions were never realized, hence repetitive. That was till now.
It’s over folks. I am walking out with the same “extraordinary” gait, holding that extra bit of fat accumulated over the last few years, still sleeping on the “sunken mass of wool” which was rendered replaceable by my father 3 years ago, holding tight to a unclaimed mechanics book left at my room in 2nd year by someone who I now believe was too ashamed to own it.
the abandoned Mechanics book
sunken mass of wool
So all you guys out there, waiting for your turns, know that the life at KGP is like this puff of smoke, it intrigues, makes you believe that it will stay and then slowly diffuses as time unfolds and even before you know it's gone, not even a streak left behind
it's all coming back to me now :) hope that kgp gave u the best yrs of life thus far. even though ull surely see better years ahead, sometimes the whiff of "that smoke" will startle you and you'll wonder what if u cud go back... :) (at least i hope u do :P ) good luck with everything.
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ReplyDeleteLike it or not that smoke always leaves a scent behind on you!! Enjoy ur last few moments and all the best for days ahead dude.
ReplyDeletewell written. esp liked ur concluding analogy
You expect some grandeur in the last days. Some drama, something profound, something that would stand out and be the lasting memory. Nothing happens. It all seems silly, the speeches, the sento,MTP, Thesis, sort of an anticlimax. If these were indeed the best days of our lives they ought to have ended in some nice spectacle rather than this mad scramble for a degree.There had to be something more to it. I would have loved to stay here but something about the end makes me impatient to leave.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I am wrong. May be its just me. Maybe it will all make sense one day. I do hope it does.