when our wings are cut, can we still fly

"... he told her, she means more to him than anything else in this world, she told her she didn't like 'this'. he asked her what does 'this' mean, she didn't like him ? she didn't like the statement or just the fact that he told her what he felt ? she didn't reply and looked away, her face basking in the golden sunlight , her hair brushing against her face, her ruddy cheeks now more prominent ..."

6 in the evening, frustrated, I type "ant" on my machine, a darker than black screen sputters some white characters at a unreadable pace. last time a missed a quote somewhere, before that forgot to add the correct prefix and before that someone changed something that screwed everything and pissed off everyone.'SUCCESS' fuckin' sweet success,  done , i can go home that is if I want to, this is my life as a so called developer.

everyday I race against time, 9 o' clock in the morning, to reach my workstation in the 5th floor of a huge building where I try to debug old bugs and write new bugs. I get lunch around half past one and I spent quite sometime trying to figure out how to play Foosball. I keep on getting better at kicking some ass and taking kicks in the ass and everyday I see myself becoming a more annoying person.

A friend once asked me whether I like this. I told that NOW this means more to me than anything else in this world. She told me that she doesn't like 'this'. I asked what does 'this' mean ... 

and this played in my earphones

Hamaari umar

लोग पूछते है उम्र हमारी

हम सोचते हैं क्या बताएं

सपने देखो हमारे तो अठारह

सीमायें देखो तो आठ

माँ पास होंती हैं तो पांच

माँ परेशान होती हैं तो पचास

पड़ोस के बच्चे अंकल बोले तो अस्सी

बाजू वाले अंकल जी बेटा बोले तो इक्कीस

भाई की चाकलेट चुराएँ तो चौदह

पढने क लिए उसे गलियाएं तो चालीस

बिन सोचे पिज्जा बर्गर खाएं तो बाईस

और खाते हुए ८०' के गाने चलायें तो बयालीस

स्कूटर जो न चला पायें तो उन्नीस

छोकरी जो दिख जाये दिल की तो उनतीस

क्या करोगे हमारी उम्र जानकर

क्या करोगे सोच कर की कम ज्यादा है या सही है

मियां पिछले तेईस साल से हम आदमी तो वही हैं !!

Foraging@hyderbad: a concise guide to restaurants

I love eating, I mean I loooovvee eating, and for people like us Hyderabad is heaven, (well that is perhaps the only good thing about it but it’s substantial). I have not been to a single restaurant which can be classified as “shitty” or even “average by KGP standards”. Here is a “critical evaluation” of the places I have been :

Ginger Court: awesome food, good ambience, expensive. If you want to eat some classy food go here. There are two floors, the top floor has a bar. I will not recommend drinking here, unless you are RICH rich.

Olive Garden (Madhapur): good food, decent prices, This is probably one of the few restaurants in Hyderabad where the food is not so spicy (though still awesome), ambience is not good. Service is ok, they take some time to serve. You must try chicken palak .

GoGreens (Madhapur): the first bad performer (still way better than any restaurant in KGP) , food is good , but very limited choices, you have to wait a lot for a seat. Maybe thali is good , never tried that.

17 degrees North (Madhapur): extremely expensive but good food, you have a lot of variety , I had quesadillas and god they were good. If you want to eat good food in Madhapur and bored of Ginger court come here.

Big Dosa (Madhapur): I was initially skeptic of this place but when I went it was mind blowing, really good atmosphere, good service, even though they serve snacks only Big Dosa is not just for a name, their Dosa is BIG and delicious, and also the only place in hyderbad where I could get aapam. A bit expensive though.

Cafe Nandini (Madhapur and Jubliee checkpost): awesome place specially if you want to have snacks and cheap compared to its peers. Very good south Indian cuisine with a lot of options and a very reasonable price, thali is good too. The check post one is better.

4 seasons (kothakuda): are you bored of regular lunches, and work at ivy/google/synopsys/capitaliq, try this place , food is decent but costly. ambience is good, waiting time can be improved.

Club 8(kothakuda): drunkards will love it, health conscious people don’t go there. Booze is cheap, food is oily, ambience is great. However they take only cash which is a very irritating thing.

Paradise (hitech): good food but not that great as the legend says (actually the legend is about the other branch ). Biryani is really good. Rest are decent. Long waiting time. Best for biryani take outs

Chutneys (main branch): don’t be fooled by the certificates it has got. Food here is above average at best and prices are damn high. Thali is ok. Ambience and service are good though.

Bowl o’ China (Madhapur): very bad service , reminded us of KGP , food is ok. There are certainly better options.

Amantran (Madhapur) : food is good, ambience is good too, nothing outstanding, good for weekend dinners with friends.

Nawab’s and Nijams (Madhapur) : do you have intestines of titanium and stomach of steel, this is the place to go. Awesome food but burns your gut and you are going to have a hard time next morning. If you love spicy food come here.

Shanghai Chef(Madhapur) : Decent Chinese restaurant, nice ambience, 8 out of 10 , worth trying.

disclaimer:

1.)this is a personal review and in no way indicates the general public opinion of any place

2.) I have been only to restaurants in Madhapur and around.

topiyan

खाकी टोपी गाँधी टोपी की तरफ देख कर बोली ," अरी, जानती है ! लोकपाल आने वाला है | तेरा भी कटेगा मेरा भी कटेगा | " "क्यूँ री ? क्यूँ कटेगा ? आज तक इतने कानून आये और गए , हमारा आज तक कुछ बिगड़ा | वो सुना नहीं 'युनानो मिस्र रोमा ... सब मिट गए जहाँ से , अब तक है बाकी नमो निशा हमारा कुछ बात है की हस्ती मिटटी नहीं हमारी ' , ये इस देश क बारे में नहीं लिखा, असल में हमारे लिए लिखा है | " गाँधी टोपी तुनक कर बोली |

" अरे नहीं री , सुना है लोग सड़कों पे आ गए हैं," " अरे क्या बात करती है तू भी | अब जब रहने को छत ही नहीं है, तो सड़कों पे तो आयेंगे ही, हमे क्या हम कौन सा सड़कों पे रहते हैं | और जब निकलते हैं तब क लिए सिक्युरिटी है न | और तुझे तो सेकुरिटी की भी जरुरत नहीं , क्यूँ ? तू तो खुद ही सिक्यूरिटी है | हा हा हा "

खाकी टोपी शर्मा कर बोली " बहुत कांफिडेंट है तू तो | " " कहे न रहूँ? इस देश की पूरी हिस्टरी देख ले | सब साले चोर हैं , बस हम बड़े चोर हैं | कानून आने से का होगा , कानून तो ये भी है रोड पर मूतना नहीं है | कौनो फोल्लो करता है का? मुन्नी ये जुगाड़ का देश है , यहाँ हर चीज का जुगाड़ है , हर चीज की कीमत है | तेरे नीचे जो विलायती दारू की बोतल रखी है वो तेरी कीमत, मेरे अन्दर जो एक पेटी का चेक वो मेरी कीमत "

"और हमरा , हमरा की कीमत है मालकिन " जमीं पे पड़ा माली का गमछा चिल्लाया | " साले चुप क हमारी बातें सुन रहा है |" खाकी टोपी चीखी " दो सोंटा लगायेंगे तो होश ठिकाने आ जायेगा | बड़ा लोग क बात में टोकता है | तोहरी बहिन की ..." "रहने दे रे ! और तू साले भाग यहाँ से .."

"क्या री ? जाने दिया उसको "

" बस यही तो अंतर है हममे , इसलिए तू खाकी है और मैं खादी | ये साला गमछा जब तक मिटटी में पड़ा रहे, तब तक सही है | जिस दिन

ये मादर फंदा बन गया उस दिन तू क्या , मैं क्या और ये क्या सब मिटटी हैं | "

खाकी मुस्कुरा कर बोली " क्यूँ रे ! कानून से डर नहीं लगता , गमछे से लगता है ?"

गाँधी टोपी उसकी ओर देखी और बोली " मुन्नी ! मैं भी कभी गमछा ही थी |"

The last April...

There are a lot of things you can run out of in an engineering school... patience, interest, passion, strength, intellect, sanity. But as the end draws, you find that you have run out of nothing but time. You thought you will do something great, meet someone important, tell someone a secret, love somebody special, kick someone’s ass, but it all ends with a hassle caused by a combination of BTP/MTPs, GVs, endsems and stupid farewells streaked with mawkish speeches and hapless dinners. It’s a strange feeling, some kind of paradox, I want the days to slip and the moments to stay, but the days seem long and the moments just fall like the sand in an hourglass.

Farewells are sad!

And just when I was about to realize the plans of doing a bonfire conceived in the cold of January, the blooming mauve flowers in the yellow sun made a April fool out of me. And I realized “while I sit and talk to god, he just laughs at my plans”

. It was there, the last April, something coveted yet detested. The counting flag for measuring our stay at this place, the turning point of each year, the time of the year when one repetitively looked forward to next session and thought, “this time I won’t makhao again”, “this time I will lose weight”, “this time I will attend all classes”, “this time I will stop walking awkwardly” and of course these resolutions were never realized, hence repetitive. That was till now.

It’s over folks. I am walking out with the same “extraordinary” gait, holding that extra bit of fat accumulated over the last few years, still sleeping on the “sunken mass of wool” which was rendered replaceable by my father 3 years ago, holding tight to a unclaimed mechanics book left at my room in 2^nd year by someone who I now believe was too ashamed to own it.

the abandoned Mechanics book

sunken mass of wool

So all you guys out there, waiting for your turns, know that the life at KGP is like this puff of smoke, it intrigues, makes you believe that it will stay and then slowly diffuses as time unfolds and even before you know it's gone, not even a streak left behind

In the flip of a coin ...

PS: it was supposed to be my birthday blogpost

I have noticed that even people who claim everything is predetermined and that we can do nothing to change it look before they cross the road. ... (Stephen Hawking)

There is a well known concept in physics called the uncertainty principle, it prohibits us know and predict the future perfectly. At a first look it appears to be a depressing limitation for many people but on a closer look isn’t it great that nothing is predetermined? Isn’t that what makes our life so interesting and worth living for. Predictability is good but spontaneity is what you call “Fcuking awesome”.

I have turned 22, I have been smart and I have been foolish, I have loved and I don’t know whether I was loved back , and I am graduating this summer given I don’t fail any courses (yes you can call me a cynic, I don’t give a damn). I have been finicky about many things over the last 5 years but now that I am so close to leaving this place, I am starting to think that it couldn’t have been more fun, I mean , how many physics grads get to shoot a gun and watch scenes from The Devil’s Advocate on a big screen as a part of their curriculum.

Like many of my friends I didn’t have a plan when I came here and likewise I developed a few as time passed . Unlike most of my friends however, I never felt confident about those plans, something which had it pros and cons. I have made some choices which may have appalled a few but one day they will come to understand that the seeds of those had been there from the start, it was an avalanche in waiting, all it needed was a little push. All I can say is that nothing is random , what we call random behavior has it roots in some unfathomable facts.I was taught a course called Non Linear Dynamics and somehow it makes more sense these days than it did before.

When I was little I watched a TV show called Recess, there was a group kids and they had a character called Spinelli, and in one episode they show her uncertainty about her future... I think it’s better you watch the episode( it’s a 10 min clip)

10 Things to do when you are bored

(read as preparing for a exam and not wanting to study)

1.) watch performances you hate to watch LIVE (ETMS, WTMS, Inter halls etc etc )

2.) imagine stuff like 11 blondes, 5 brunettes, 2 chinkis and one desi, nude, in a tub full of wine at Miami beach ( non-lesbian women and gays adjust accordingly)

3.) brood over your department ,your project guide, your institute,your electives, your potbelly, your future, some random girl from past (stop grinning :| ) ....

4.) make plans for world domination, formulate path breaking business ideas(selling ear wax), design a manor you will build when you are rich

5.) look up for unfortunate victims on gtalk and fry their brains inside out

6.) Read Kumar Ritwik's Blog

7.) watch emotional atyachar, Bigboss, top chef and other available 'reality shows'

8.) read RAJ comics and discuss them with your friends

9.) write your own blog

10.) write FB messages to your neighbors posing as some hot chick from Gurgaon